The Host Club at the Gay Bar
by bittersweetredcherry
Summary: Tamaki thinks that it's a good idea to take Haruhi to a gay bar the very first day. Fun and surprises. T for words that shouldn't really be used.


**A/N: None of this is making fun of gays, just for the record.**

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Haruhi had been at the host club all day long. She was exhausted. Too many emotions in one day, she thought. She was now in her room, resting and writing about her day in her diary.

_Dear diary,_

_Today It was my first day at Ouran High. I was dressed with some jeans an old sweater. Everybody at that school there is rich, so I was quite frowned upon. Then, when I was looking for a quiet place to study, so I went inside a room to find what? A bunch of crazy boys, apparently the "host club". Their names are Tamaki, Mori, Hikaru, Kaoru, Hunny and Kyoya. Anyway, the "leader", Tamaki, started hitting on me, and I freaked out because of the gayness, but I broke a jar worth a fortune! And now, I must be in the Host club until I am requested by 1000 girls. Way to go…_

She didn't know what else to put. So she got up and started cooking dinner. Her father would be late today. She started singing to herself, and then began talking to herself, sometimes she did that. She started thinking about the host club boys. She knew for certain that they knew she was actually a girl, and then Tamaki popped into her head.

"I wonder…did he even realize I was a girl?"

And the door swung open.

"Haruhi!"

"That voice? WHOAH!"

Tamaki was holding her in his arms…again.

"H-how did you even get IN here?"

"Oh, but I don't come alone, dear Haruhi! The boys are with me, of course!"

Haruhi turned her head around to see all the gang standing at her door.

Then Tamaki let go of Haruhi, letting her fall to the ground, to clap his hands two times.

"Hikaru, Kaoru! Take Haruhi and dress him with his best clothes!"

"What? Why?"

"Dear Haruhi, tonight we are taking you out, to celebrate your entrance in our wonderful host club!"

"Where are you taking me to?"

"To a Gay Bar, of course!" _That would be a: no, he doesn't know i'm a girl. Wait, did he just say..._

"A WHAT?"

Hikaru and Kaoru went with her into her room, and gave her a bag with some clothes.

"We figure out commoners don't go out to party…so we bought you these!" said Hikaru, or Kaoru, she wasn't sure.

"Well, we'll wait outside!" they both said at the same time, and closed the door behind them.

_Well, a gay bar…it can't be that bad… or can it?_

She opened the bag. Leather jeans and a fancy shirt.

While she began changing, she could hear the boys.

"Oh, poor haruhi, he has to live in these conditions!"

"Tamaki, Haruhi is used to this!"

"But Mori! He was cooking himself…VEGETABLES! How bad can THAT be?"

_What a drag…._

She finished dressing and went outside.

Not even a second passed before she was in Tamaki's arms again.

"OHHH! YOU ARE SO CUTE HARUHI!"

"Stop spinning me around please!"

"Ok, let's go!"

They had pulled her into a limo, and had driven for half an hour when they let her breathe some fresh air.

She saw a bunch of guys (most probably gay) outside the door.

"Tamaki? I don't think this is a good idea…"

"Oh don't worry, I will take care of you!" He grabbed her again and entered.

_That's not very reassuring…_

The music was loud, and there were very few girls, at least Haruhi thought they were girls, but Nooo!

"This is Cristina"

"Hi, Cristina"

"Hi" a manly voice responded.

_Great, it's 11 in the night, tomorrow I have to go to school, and here I am, in a gay bar with a bunch of crazy host clubbers and unknown drag queens and gays._

"Haruhi, have a drink!"

"Wha-?" she couldn't even finish the sentence. Tamaki had put some liquid inside her mouth and she was swallowing it.

Her throat was burning.

"What the-?"

She felt dizzy.

"What, you, giveee…to meeee?"

And she was drunk. But still had some common sense to go and sit down.

She watched as the boys danced. Mori and Kyoya included. Actually, they were dancing together, VERY close to each other. And they were dancing to "Candy Shop".

"Wohoo! 50 cent!" Kyoya was WAY drunk.

"Shut up and dance" _Oh, Mori has had two drinks and he is ok so far!_

He went closer to Kyoya

"Kiss me, gay lord!" _Ok, I shouldn't have said that._

They went closer and closer….

"NOOOOO!"

Haruhi fell between the two. Yes, she fell. To the floor.

But Hikaru and Kaoru were there to help her.

"Ring a ring a roses, a pocket full of poses!" they grabbed her by the hands and starting dancing around in circles.

"Let me go!" She felt dizzier than before.

"I WILL SAVE YOU!" Tamaki grabbed her and led her to the barman.

"He wants more vodka"

"VODKA?" And she was swallowing again.

Tamaki started talking to her.

"Taama…kii! … since WHEN do you have TWO twin brothers?"

But she fell to the floor again.

"You ok?"

She stared at the centre of the dance floor.

"Step aside, blondie!"

She pushed Tamaki away and "walked" towards her target. There was a block for dancing in the middle of the dance floor.

She went on top of it.

The song changed, this time it was Low by Flo Rida.

"Hey guys! Come dance with me!" that's what the "normal" Haruhi would have said, but what came out was:

"What are you fag-faces waiting for? Mori! Twins! Tamaki! Kyoya! Hunny! Come and shake some ass with me, yo bitches!"

And, naturally, they all went on top of the block and danced.

If the meaning for dancing was moving from side to side trying not to fall.

"Kyoya! Come over here and GET LOW with me!"

"Coming, babe!"

They got closer and danced, low low low….and they went Low all the way to the ground, and they stayed there.

_ "I can't move anymore!" Haruhi was talking to the air, but Tamaki went to her rescue.

"Stand up, dear Haruhi! It's time to show your qualities to the world!"

"Ma what? What are yo talking about? You psycho!"

"I'm talking about THIS!"

And he opened her shirt.

Everybody stared.

"A BRA?"

"A woman?"

Tamaki looked at her. He just stared at her chest.

"H-how? What? When? You!"

Haruhi just said "Don't cha wish ya girlfriend was HOT like me?"

And she collapsed to the floor.

Next day, they all woke up in Haruhi's house.

When they woke up, they all looked at each other.

"Why are we here?"

"Where did we go yesterday?"

"Does someone remember something?"

"No" they all answered at the same time.

"What about you, Haruhi?" Mori spoke in the direction of the toilet. It seemed Haruhi was changing inside.

"I don't remember a single thing"

Tamaki got up; he wanted to wash his face, so he went inside the toilet.

"My dear Haruhi! How are you feeling today? Can you lend me your-"

And he saw it. He stood there, staring at her.

From a short distance, the rest of the boys heard Tamaki screaming.

**"A ****BRA**** ?"**


End file.
